My eyes open and I hear the sound of the sea in a shell. The garbled static of water in my ears. There is no dream to remember this morning. I reach for my phone to to turn down the volume of the Spotify rain playlist. The pattering of water on roofs is coming from […]
Power tools grind in the distance, over the fenceline a three-storey house is being repaired or torn down. I’m not sure, the scaffolding seems suspicious, but at least my countrymen are slight. It’ll hold. The small house by the way is blaring TV or radio in a language I don’t understand. It’s loud white noise. […]
I come with a humble heart. I think. It’s definitely not broken which is a novelty. The right wing of the aeroplane dips, the pilot manoeuvring us around the Peninsula- Zamboanga del Sur. The pilot is better at flying than landing. But, still capable. The passengers, flight crew and your brave petite heroine have not […]
This is the summer of white butterflies. Flutters explode. Bursts of wings dipping and twirling through a flat blue sky, carelessly tumbling through lavender bushes and generally floating by my path haplessly. I look up and I am a princess in a Disney movie. Google news alerts me the unseasonal rain and heat has given […]
November 22 2.12AM (we like the numbers). There’s a death toll rising in Gaza. and I don’t care because I am not a good person. Weekly protests over genocides, kids protesting climate change. It’s all too much, I’m burnt out from over-caring, truthfully, about myself. Insomnia‘s kiss won’t let Spotify’s gentle rain lull me into […]
Sometimes I have out-of-body experiences where I scream what the fuck is wrong with you. It could also be my conscience. I’m not sure. That particular voice in my head does not feature as much as the others that say “Fuck it. Seems fun”. Shh! The demons are talking. Hello SJ, you fucked up. The […]
Astrology, our favourite pseudo-science, tells me because of luminous gas held together by self-gravity, I need to reflect on the period in my life from 2013-2016. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t a great run. Come to think of it, I don’t think it usually is a great run. SJ, what is the common denominator? 2013 is […]
I was raised Catholic. My grandmother, orphaned at ten years old grew up in a convent until her Great Aunt took her in while she recovered from some tropical and now-deceased childhood affliction Her elder sister remained at the convent with the gentle nuns and joined the cloister. What a different story our family history […]
Six years. Today, at your grave I left you roses of different colours. Yellows, pinks, oranges and reds. And it felt right. I cried from a dark place in my soul and asked your forgiveness from a place deep in my heart. For what? I don’t know. I knew for the first time and was […]
HI. I think it is coming together. I am sitting and I am writing and that is the first sign of tangible recovery. My god, will you have to listen to the endless droll of a self-pitying drug addict? Never. I don’t identify with being an addict which is strange because it is generally accepted […]