I am still obsessed by this idea of forward momentum. I got 2017 on my back like get the fuck away from me and I can’t tell if anything I know is real. I know that I am disappointing myself everyday. Bleak. My darling ex bf (the junkie) used to say that regret in small […]
Hello. I needed to come back to this space to make sense of the thoughts in my head and the dramas that I perpetuate. It is now 2018. I am three days in, and the thing with expectation is it can only bite you in your fine pilates ass. I tell people that 2017 was […]
This is my seventeenth day in Melbourne (Saturday 9th Dec 2017). Will it be a lifelong sentence? Time is really weird. It feels like the Philippines was this very distant memory. I don’t feel settled into my new life. And it does feel like a different life. All the elements are the same but nothing […]
The last tale from the tropics. I fly out in twelve hours. How’s that for a deadline? Never fear dear reader, there are plans for this platform. I’m not going to leave you hanging because that is a manipulative marketing strategy that makes the petit rebel in me always thing fuck off I don’t want […]
December 7, 2017
Comments Off on Instalment XXXV – Wherein our little heroine returns to reality
Reason 1504 why I love my fucking family- my cousin, the youngest and official black sheep, dropped out of engineering/ was kicked out for not showing up and was punished by being bought a motorbike and sent to baking school. I secretly think that if he knocked up a girl it would be totally fine […]
November 4, 2017
Comments Off on Instalment XXXIV – Wherein our little heroine fakes a cake
I keep making promises I don’t keep like that shit about fear. The thoughts are coming. At least I conquered my fear of death. Wanna know how I did it? Deep spiritual practice. Nup, just kidding! Conditioning. Hung out at the cemetery again. In the Philippines they celebrate the 1st and 2nd of November as […]
November 3, 2017
Comments Off on Instalment XXXIII – Wherein our little heroine sits with some souls
In yesterday’s post I half assed mentioned how I live in the present. Maybe death is a bigger thing than I admitted. I guess my fucking friend surprise dying on me suspended me in time. Believe it or not, I’m a fun kind of gal and I think that is directly correlated to my impulse […]
October 31, 2017
Comments Off on Instalment XXXII – Wherein our little heroine finds a new fear
Dear Internet, it’s been five days since my last confession. How apt that I hit thirty and just stopped. I’m alive. I’m not really sure what happened. I think writing something not sassy threw me out of a comfort zone and completely paralyzed me. I think I learned sometimes forcing yourself to do something to […]
October 30, 2017
Comments Off on Instalment XXXI – Wherein our little heroine returns quietly and unnoticed
If I’m learning at least one thing, it’s how to use roman numerals. What a handy skill. It kept Bart Simpson alive once, haters. Happy 30th instalment to me. Now my blog and I are both lying about our real ages together. Forever young. This morning I woke up emotionally wrung out but less crazy. […]
October 25, 2017
Comments Off on Instalment XXX – wherein our little heroine is dirty thirty and keeping secrets
Hello my enduring endeavour to enlightenment. Turns out this is like everything in life. No discipline and you’re fucked. Every time I think I’m not going to do a post the stubborn little part of me just can’t break the streak. You should see my snap chat. Well that’s done. I don’t know if I’ll […]
October 23, 2017
Comments Off on Instalment XXIX – wherein our little heroine is living la vida loca