I wonder if God is testing me. I have initiated dinner with my father, lured by the prospect of his life insurance policy. If baby plays nice will baby get rich? I feel owed compensation yet I am wise enough to know that in this world we are owed nothing. Today, I don’t feel ‘good’, […]
My blood levels over the past month, reading higher of diazepam than haemoglobin knocked my psychic powers out. I didn’t see this one coming. Within twenty-four hours I am sitting at a cafe, I know purposefully closes in one hour, across from my father. Original Daddy. I am nine and he is the man that […]
Hello, old friend. It’s been five months and everything has changed if you look close. From afar you would still think it’s the same story on a different day. I promise I am so different I don’t know who I see anymore. I’ve been distracted, or removed from myself. I left a relationship that died […]
I’ve lost sight of the truth. And I’ve lost control of my words, which is probably more frightful. I am always writing the same piece in a thousand synonymous ways. About inertia and fear and truth and lying to ones self and being tired. I can’t tell what is an act of bravery or of […]
It’s 2020 and the symmetry of the numbers heralding the turn of this new decade gave me a vague hope of coming back into equilibrium with myself. I had come off the back of being tossed once again to the life of leisure. Un-gainfully unemployed I began the year faced with the country’s first natural […]
Melbourne is free. The 112-day lockdown ends and I am apprehensive. Not because a deadly pandemic may kill me but because I don’t think I like the brave new world. It’s all still the same isn’t it? I’m trying to understand collective memory and grief. I want to see the scars of the people. For […]
Autumn is a season I remember being prettier in my memory. He had told me it was his favourite. But the idea of it is better than the reality. The same excuse he had used to break my heart again. The clouds above me threaten rain later, daring me to continue on my morning walk […]
I am a spectre haunting a past lover. Convinced by psychics and Google that he is my twin flame. I’m not explaining that. It’s too crazy and contentious. It’s hard not to succumb to the idea of fate when you are a romantic at heart but the practical side of me asks to evaluate the […]
I thought I had achieved something by writing half of something. I have thirty thousand words penned. It’s not a short story and it’s not a novel but it is a reflection on how I am always in the middle of decisions. Turns out writing was not the party trick. Turns out figuring out how […]
I can’t find the ground under my feet so I look to the only place I know how to be. In the spaces between words. In the thoughts that become assembled by letters arranged into coherence, poorly punctuated. It is a recurrent theme that I find myself crawling out of the pit that was the […]