Hello my love, I apologise for my neglect. Of course, there has been emotional turmoil. After all, it is me. I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m so tired, my nightmares are back. And I’m finding it difficult to find a space to be. I feel isolated but not lonely, I can’t reach […]

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Two years and I think that the wound has become a scar. Yesterday was the second year death anniversary of my dead friend. It wasn’t bad. I stood there and it felt ok, like I had made peace with it. The dead have the easiest job.  I sat there smoking a cigarette with him thinking, […]

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Hi internet, thought I’d check in. I haven’t done much. I keep wanting to write but I don’t have any thoughts that are cohesive. It could be the alcohol flooding my brain. Today is the 1st of February. I haven’t been sober since the 3rd of January for more than 4 days. It is a […]

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Just when I thought 2019 was gonna cut me a break and leave me alone in heart ache.  My father (biological) is currently in a hospital in the third world. Gun shot wound. It sounds dramatic. If I can tell you one thing… the cunt doesn’t die. He really doesn’t. Life is not done with […]

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What a fucking mess. I’m on a train to country Victoria to stay on my friend’s farm and lick my wounds. I haven’t been sober for 5 days. At least I’m not fucked up on cocaine. This is improvement. Each night I’ve been having long and arduous heart to hearts on my situation. Remember that […]

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Happy New Year! My resolution this year was a promise to myself to raise my standard. The standard being what I accept. I did something crazy. I took a leap of faith and I fell onto the jagged rocks of broken promises. Hi Daddy! As in my father. King of broken promises. Who’s your Daddy […]

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Context: I wrote the following on the 8th of December when I thought I lost my blog. Today, I have been given the gift of it’s return.  Hello readership. We have come into an accident. I didn’t pay my bill. I don’t know how it happened. I cant think about it. The entirety of my work here […]

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Sometimes situations are not fair. People are damaged and they do not make sense. As much as you can love the light in someone if they are obscured by their personal darkness they will cloak you within it too. My ex-bf (the junkie) once told me that I should get over my heartbreak because the […]

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Venus is in retrograde. Yes, I am back and more fragile than ever. Excellent for you! Where was I? In crisis and also complacent. Must I be in love? Long story. Jury’s out. You know me, tortured by heartbreak is my primary motivator to writing. And we’re back! I missed you too. Venus is the […]

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Playing with the Rubik’s cube that is my psyche I have developed an obsessive taste for pop science/psych books. All encompassing: from books on dreams written in the 90’s to emotional intelligence to current best selling self help to sacred feminine to science and atheism to biology and humanism. True confession- I even went to […]

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