Then I realised you were dead. A year later and I’m searching through the ‘Non- Denominational’ section of the cemetery, wedged between the bountiful crops of Catholics who have obediently gone forth and multiplied, the system they use to mark the graves is inefficient and it is the worst treasure hunt I have gone on. […]

Yo. In my absence I have been indulging my own thoughts- not learning much that I already don’t preach about, it is torture. I don’t know why I’ve stopped speaking here. Nightmares are improving- this is a minor gain. There has to be something larger than coincidence at play. I am approaching my dead friend’s […]

Being good at love is a decision. Sometimes I think that a higher power is trying to talk to me via the Internet. Or maybe Google is the new God. After my social media cleanse I am back to dabbling and it is a waste of my fucking time. Facebook trying to tell me that […]

I am still obsessed by this idea of forward momentum. I got 2017 on my back like get the fuck away from me and I can’t tell if anything I know is real. I know that I am disappointing myself everyday. Bleak. My darling ex bf (the junkie) used to say that regret in small […]

Hello. I needed to come back to this space to make sense of the thoughts in my head and the dramas that I perpetuate. It is now 2018. I am three days in, and the thing with expectation is it can only bite you in your fine pilates ass. I tell people that 2017 was […]

This is my seventeenth day in Melbourne (Saturday 9th Dec 2017). Will it be a lifelong sentence? Time is really weird. It feels like the Philippines was this very distant memory. I don’t feel settled into my new life. And it does feel like a different life. All the elements are the same but nothing […]