Melbourne is free. The 112-day lockdown ends and I am apprehensive. Not because a deadly pandemic may kill me but because I don’t think I like the brave new world. It’s all still the same isn’t it? I’m trying to understand collective memory and grief. I want to see the scars of the people. For […]

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Autumn is a season I remember being prettier in my memory. He had told me it was his favourite. But the idea of it is better than the reality. The same excuse he had used to break my heart again. The clouds above me threaten rain later, daring me to continue on my morning walk […]

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I am a spectre haunting a past lover. Convinced by psychics and Google that he is my twin flame. I’m not explaining that. It’s too crazy and contentious. It’s hard not to succumb to the idea of fate when you are a romantic at heart but the practical side of me asks to evaluate the […]

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I thought I had achieved something by writing half of something. I have thirty thousand words penned. It’s not a short story and it’s not a novel but it is a reflection on how I am always in the middle of decisions. Turns out writing was not the party trick. Turns out figuring out how […]

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I can’t find the ground under my feet so I look to the only place I know how to be. In the spaces between words. In the thoughts that become assembled by letters arranged into coherence, poorly punctuated. It is a recurrent theme that I find myself crawling out of the pit that was the […]

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I am a woman alone. So the self-help book my friend gave me keeps repeating. “On my own- the art of being a woman alone” then an image of a woman dressed in white standing by an infinity pool- how hopeful, she’s rich. No, the book is not a swipe at my relationship status. This […]

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Internet Fam- Hello. I’m still on that fiction ban. Let’s see what it’s doing to me. “ Thanks for tuning into my channel! Leave a comment below! 🙂 ” The wind is pushing nature around, bullying the trees by my window. The leaves are pressed and released against glass, scratching to get inside. It is […]

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The first year: I bring yellow roses because I’m mad. I realized you are dead. And I am angry. The second year: I bring red roses because I’m sorry for being petty. I find acceptance. The third year: I bring washed-out pink roses because that was the choice, that or orange. They didn’t have red […]

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I am so grateful for all my material possessions and the relationships I cultivate to prop up my fragile ego. Hello! The Little Heroine, she is negative. Danger! Danger! My doctor accused me of being bipolar. I will acknowledge that I do have generalized anxiety. Good job Doc, I mean, he just wouldn’t buy that […]

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Let’s get honest and high and drunk. I’m back. I took some valium, I’m drinking raspberry absolut (the only hard liquor in my house) and I just put down “the meditations of marcus aurelius” to read “he’s just not that into you”. I’m on a fiction ban. Salmon Rushdie only reads poetry when he’s writing […]

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